Reflections...

In my last few weeks here, i've spent a lot of time reflecting on my first few weeks here and marveling at how far i've come

and i'm finally ready to tell the true story about my first experiences of Turkey

At first i put on a happy face and decided not to write about it because i wanted to be fair...and when you are scared out of your mind you can never truly be fair to a new experience...you just want out.

In any case, i'm ready to tell it so here i go...

As soon as my plane touches down at Ataturk airport, i get the feeling that Dorothy must have felt when she woke up in munchkin land.... and in my immediate state of shock i started to look around and realize that everyone around me was speaking Turkish except for a pair of elderly American women who were looking anxiously over a guide book and steadily ignoring everyone around them.

I lifted my chin and walked off the plane feigning all the confidence in the world...and i walked right into a hustling crowd of people who were angry and late....
since i was going in their direction i got caught up in a whirlwind/wave of these people and got carried through the visa center and before i knew it i was exiting the terminals.

I stepped through a pair of double doors into a large window filled lobby with crowds of people holding signs for incoming guests/students etc. I didn't see my name, although the school had assigned someone to help me with my frist few weeks and through email he promised to meet me and escort me to the dorms.

I find an empty uncomfortable plastic chair and have a seat trying to ignore the growing panic inside me. As i waited i noticed how alone i was...everyone had a travel partner or someone meeting them and i heard not a single word of english and i knew nothing in Turkish. As i sat i tried to put on a calm, collected, strong facade, because every woman knows that men only harrass/hit on the women that they think are easy targets...they are like lions...they pick the weakest one of the bunch and go for the kill. If you appear confident and self assured they mostly leave you alone. (Of course my dear brother-in-law, Peter is the exception to this rule...i dont think i will ever understand how he was brave enough to get past the mean, steel exterior of my sister Lil...)

Time passed...and i waited....i waited...and i waited...finally 20 minutes passed and I gave up waiting.

One good thing about being in a completely new place is you have the oppurtunity to learn a whole lot about your true self...and you start to accept it...I learned i am not a patient girl

I decided to find a taxi but i got looped into a salesman advertising cheap shuttle rides to your destination. I accept and praying i'm not getting ripped off beyond belief i sit and wait for them to pull up a shuttle and escort me and my bags to it.

I wait 30 minutes this time and then i march up to the shuttle service and start gesturing and yelling....they get the clear message that either they take me where i want to go or i'll raise so much hell they will wish i had never come to Turkey.

They quickly pull up a shuttle, just for me, and a nice gentleman tells the driver where to take me and he teaches me my first Turkish word...tesekkur ederim...(thank you). The driver doesn't speak much english and i'm in no mood to talk as its been over and hour and i am confused, and scared and angry. But as we drive and i see the city of Istanbul to things hit me at once...the weather is beautiful...but the city is generally filthy. Most of the buildings are apartment complexes, and i didnt see a shopping mall or a skyscraper in sight. There was a heavy fog of smog over the city and i could feel exhaust burning my lungs through the open window.

I'm not ashamed to admit....i wanted so badly to just go home.

My drive, Fatih, was chatting pleasently in Turkish from the front seat...explaining his love for Michael Jackson i think...and as we passed parts of the city he would point out the tourist spots and important destinations. I tried to rememeber everything he was saying...but a lump was growing in my throat and my head was beginning to ache.

We pulled into a narrow street with many of the buildings broken down or with windows punched out...and i was relieved to see a police station and armed police on guard....(this relief at seeing police would soon dissapate)

Part 2 still to come....